Anger Management – How To Manage Your Anger
I had seen a lady replace her calm and reserved nature with rage in less a minute. The outburst of her anger took us all by great surprise.
I was wondering, is that even possible?
“Anger is completely normal, an emotion that helps you express your negative feelings towards something or someone who has done you wrong”. However, excessive anger can cause great damage. It can cause problems for you personally, it can also cause relationship problems.
In some cases, anger can be a cover up for different emotions and feelings. Your temper might be covering your true feelings. Angry people tend to demand things like agreements, fairness, appreciations, willingness to do things their own way and all that. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don’t get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren’t met, their disappointment becomes anger. Angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires
In dealing with your anger issues, it is important to identify things that triggers your temper. Identify how anger feels in your body, or how anger makes you feel.
Becoming aware of your own personal signs that your anger is starting to boil, allows you take steps to manage it, before it gets out of control.
• Knot in stomach
• Clenching hand and jaw
• Breathing faster
• Tensing shoulders
• Pounding heart
• Pacing or having the need to walk around.
HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER
Having control over your anger can be a very difficult task but by practically following these tips below you can understand, control it and deal with it in a positive way.
1.DON’T BE QUICK TO SPEAK.
You just don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind. Take deep breaths, think about the things you want to say thoroughly, to avoid regretting them later. Do not say anything in the heat of the moment. Take your time to understand the situations before you say a word.
2. EXPRESS YOUR ANGER ONCE YOU ARE CALM.
As soon as you start thinking clearly, express your frustration but in an assertive way. State your concerns and need clearly and directly, without hurting or trying to control anyone.
3. MAKE OUT TIME FOR YOURSELF.
Take sometime out to clear your mind. A few time alone helps you think well and gets you prepared to handle situations without feeling angry or irritated, and also to address the issues properly. Give yourself a break, make out some personal time scheduled for yourself especially for days that you know are stressful.
4. LOOK FOR POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS.
Instead of focusing on things that made you angry, take time to resolve the issue or look for solutions to whatever the problem may be. Always have it in mind that anger won’t solve any problem and it can only make things worse.
5. KNOW WHEN TO SEEK HELP.
Learning to control anger is a challenge everyone gets to face at some point. Knowing when and where to seek help from is very important. Seek help for your anger issues if it leaves you hurt, causes you to regret your actions or hurt the surrounding people.
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Do whatever it takes to encourage relaxation like practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses and all that.
7.PRACTICE USING HUMOR.
Anger is a serious emotion, but it’s often accompanied by ideas that, if looked into can help make you laugh. Don’t try to just “laugh off” your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Silly humor” can help tame rage sometimes but don’t give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that’s just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Listening carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering them can help you take control of the situation. Also, be respectful and specific with your words to avoid criticizing or placing blame on others in order not to let things out of control. Keeping your cool at all times can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Sometimes it is a good idea to avoid a situation or an environment that infuriates you or may cause you to be angry. Don’t make yourself always thinking or looking at what makes you angry. Keep yourself calm and allow a quiet time and come back later when you are better prepared to handle the situation.
11. SOLVING A PROBLEM.
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it’s a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn’t always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem. Make a plan and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away.